2007-07-03


!!!HoW 2 DeFiNe LoVe!!!
  1. The dictionary defines love in the ways we use the word. For example love is:
    • A strong positive emotion of. affection or pleasure. "his love for his work. I love cooking.
    • Any object of warm affection or devotion or liking; "the theater was her first love". I love french food.
    • Beloved: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
    • A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; " "she was his first love" She loves her husband.
    • A score of zero in tennis or squash: "it was 40 love"
    • Sexual love: sexual intercourse between two people: They made love."he hadn't had any love in months"
  2. The Greeks defined love in four categories:
    • AGAPE love is unconditional love. It is love by "CHOICE". A good example is "GOD LOVES US"
    • PHI LEO love is the love of "ATTRACTION" guided by our likes or our healthy or unhealthy needs and desires.
    • STORGE is a physical show of "AFFECTION" the need for physical touch.
    • EROS is the physical "SEXUAL" desire, intercourse.
  3. Define love, what does it mean to you? Be bold and write down the feelings and thoughts you have about love.
  4. Be aware of moments you feel love towards anyone or anything.
  5. Consider your motives, what are you getting from the situation.
  6. Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change.
  7. Capture that feeling with metaphors, poetry or songs.
  8. For inspiration, read Elizabeth Barrett Browning's famous poem, "How Do I Love Thee?"
  9. Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-A... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." If this is not how you feel, then you may not be in love.
  10. Define love like a psychologist: love can be viewed triangularly. There are three key components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.
    • Passion underlies physical desire, sexual behavior, and arousal. This is the physical side.
    • Intimacy is the emotional aspect: closeness, connectedness, and warmth of friendship.
    • Commitment is the decision-making part "CHOICE" of love; are couples willing to work it out?
  11. There are many combinations, all of which form some kind of love. Is there passion and friendship but very little commitment? This is defined as "passionate love." Are you committed but feel no passion or friendship? This is called "empty love." What most people ultimately desire, is "TRUE LOVE" the total package: passion, intimacy, friendship and commitment in one healthy relationship. It's the most fulfilling love. It is unconditional, and in my opinion the only "CHOICE".

!!!TiPz!!!

  • Buy gifts for your love, rings, roses, poems,it's the thought that counts not the price.
  • Spend quality time with the person you love.(not watching TV)
  • Tell the person you love things you appreciate about them.
  • Be affectionate with the person you love, hugs, kisses, whatever you are comfortable with.(NEVER GO BEYOND YOUR COMFORT ZONE)
  • Love is all that is. Love knows nothing but love. Love transcends mind. Love is a feeling you feel when you feel you're feeling a feeling you never felt before. Love is the inner substance of light. Love is all we need.
  • Love is an effervescent feeling that seems to escape definition.

!!!WaRnInGz!!!

  • Be careful who you "CHOOSE" to love It can make all the difference in the world. "Don't cast pearls before swine".
  • When you find true love work at it and it can last forever. Don't work at it and it may whither and die.
  • True love may or may not come only once in a lifetime.
  • Just because you feel love doesn't mean the other person does!
  • If someone tells you true love only happens once BEWARE!! They've seen too many Disney films or are trying to manipulate you. People are capable of falling in and out of love so if your "true love" turns out to be abusive or makes you cry more than smile, end it and find a healthy person to love.
  • Remember your friends and family love you and if they think there is something wrong or unhealthy with your relationship, you should at least listen. You may think they don't care but they may see something that you don't. They love you and want you to be happy, and that's what you need to remember.
  • Remember there are levels of love, and true love is unconditional love, a "CHOICE" and just because someone says they love you doesn't mean they love you. Their actions will tell.
  • LOVE SHOULD ALSO BE A HEALTHY THING THAT LIFTS BOTH UP TO BE THEIR BEST.

!!!ThInGz u'LL NeeD!!!
  • There are some basic requirements:
    1. You must love yourself.
    2. You must have good self-esteem.
    3. You must respect both yourself and the other person.
    4. You must trust the other person.
    5. You must listen to others that love you.
  • If you can't follow the above or if you don't think that they are important then write down why.

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